Returning to the Mat: A Postpartum Athlete’s Journey Back to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

As a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu athlete, movement has always been a core part of how I regulate, connect, and understand myself. But returning to consistent training postpartum has not been straightforward. After having my baby, I expected the usual challenges—sleep deprivation, shifting priorities, and the general chaos of new parenthood. What I didn’t fully anticipate was how many layers would affect my ability to return to training: hormonal shifts, ongoing fatigue, thyroid issues, and the simple lack of time and capacity while balancing parenting and work responsibilities.

For a long time, I felt like I was trying to find my way back to myself, but not quite able to fully land there.

Around 15 months postpartum, something began to shift. I had weaned around 14 months, and slowly I started to feel more like myself again—more energy, more clarity, and a growing sense of readiness to reconnect with my body in a more intentional way. At that point, I committed to personal training to rebuild strength and muscle I had lost. That decision became a turning point. It didn’t happen overnight, but over time, it paid off in a way that mattered: I was finally able to get back on the mat.

But “back” doesn’t look like it used to.

There was a time in my life when training meant 4–5 days a week, often 3–5 hours a day. That version of my athletic identity shaped me deeply. And while I can still access parts of that identity, my training now requires a very different structure. Less volume. More intention. More recovery. And a much more realistic understanding of what my life currently allows. This has required adjustment—not just physically, but emotionally. I’ve had to let go of old expectations while also reclaiming a part of myself that felt buried for a while.

Recently, I attended a Jiu-Jitsu seminar on my own. Walking in alone was honestly a little intimidating. I felt self-conscious about my conditioning, my strength, and how I might compare to other women on the mat. That inner narrative of “you’re behind” showed up quickly.

But something unexpected happened once I started training.

Every woman I drilled with or sparred against was incredibly encouraging. There was a shared understanding in the space—an openness, a generosity, a genuine excitement to have me there. Instead of judgment, I was met with support. Instead of comparison, I felt connection. Several women made comments along the lines of “you’re a champion just for being here.” And something about that landed deeply for me.

Because rebuilding yourself—mind, body, and identity—after becoming a parent is hard in a way that is difficult to fully describe unless you’ve lived it. There is a kind of fragmentation that happens. You are still you, and also not quite you yet. You are caring for another human while simultaneously trying to piece yourself back together.

In that context, yes—showing up matters. A lot. And yes, I am a champion. Not because I am back at my previous level of training, but because I am in the process of returning at all.

The truth is, rebuilding doesn’t require perfection. It doesn’t require intensity every day. Sometimes it just requires one small, consistent step each week. One decision to move. One decision to show up. One decision to reconnect. That is often where momentum begins.

And I’m learning that this version of me—the one rebuilding slowly, intentionally, and within the reality of motherhood—is still an athlete. Just in a different season.

Not lesser. Just evolving.

Counseling for Perinatal Athletes

For many athletes, this transition can also bring up unexpected emotional and psychological challenges—identity shifts, anxiety around performance, body image changes, grief for pre-parenthood training capacity, and the pressure to “bounce back.” These experiences are common, but they are not always talked about openly in athletic spaces.

Counseling can be a supportive space to process these changes without judgment. For perinatal athletes in particular, therapy can help bridge the gap between who you were in sport and who you are becoming—while holding space for both. It can also support nervous system regulation, help reduce perfectionistic pressure, and create more sustainable expectations around returning to training in a way that fits your current season of life.

You don’t have to choose between being an athlete and being a parent. The work is often learning how to integrate both in a way that feels grounded and realistic.